Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ramani Writes to RFS

Email sent to RFS. Of course, don't believe that this is the real Ramani. Yet, it's funny.

Ok, guys listen up. This is Ramani Fernando, Ranjith's wife. I have been using funds from my private salon to bribe Ten Sports, ESPN and Star Sports to keep the old man employed and as far away from me aspossible. If you guys ruin this by making a big deal of the obvious, I will have to put up with bigmouth at home. You know even at home he just keeps blabbering the obvious agreeing to every Tom, Dick and Sarath. And if unsupervised for a moment he manages to ruin business by suggesting to ourfriends "One might expect a haircut if one visits my wife's salon" - even scared the hell out of old Malinga who bolted to Panadura and found a new hair-dresser!

So lets keep this under wraps and not make too much noise, ok?

14 comments:

Sana said...

hahahhaha! nicely said! One might expect to bust a gut laughing when you read this one!

Anonymous said...

Did anyone listen to Ramiz Raja in the AUS vs NZ match? One might say he was almost as bad as RF. However, one can say that RF is infinitely more annoying.

RanjithFernandoSucks said...

I watched the Aus/NZ match, and surprisingly our buddy Ranjit wasn't there.

There was so much of Amir Sohail which was a royal pain. But still, althout Amir sounds like poetry gone bad I'd still rank him slightly higher than Ranjit because at least Amir observes what's going on (not obvious stuff) and gives some insights once in a while.

Lanka Personalities said...

Aney, poor Ramani.... Why dont you find him something else in the garden to keep the old man going. I dont think he can do any serious damage to the flora? And... btw... they do say that talking to the trees is a good thing... Prince Charles thinks so.

Anonymous said...

Once upon a time there lived a man called Ranjit Fernando in sunny Sri Lanka, a land of milk and honey often referred to as Paradise, previously known to the Colonial British rulers as Ceylon.

This man was “no mug with the ball or bat”, having kept wickets and opening the batting for St. Benedict’s College in Kotahena. It was “never going to be an easy proposition” selecting him to play for the national team since ijn comparison to the rest of the contenders at that time his cricketing ability was “nothing to write home about”.

However, the man was “gathering impetus” in the local cricket scene playing and excelling in club cricket during the P Sara Trophy season every year. Finally, he came out with a surge, “Breaking the shackles”, and ended up as a commentator for World Cup and ICC Cricket matches across the globe. A great achievement for Sri Lanka, no doubt, but not a very pretty predicament to all the millions of TV listeners across the planet.

Although one could easily claim that his style of patter was a “trifle short” of what was needed to be able to deliver the state of the game across the airwaves, he still kept on “fluttering away” under the tragic assumption that he was still an “experienced campaigner” who was willing to exercise a “valiant effort” in carrying out his tasks effectively.

While we are all aware that he is trying his best to “maintain his composure” in order to be able to “marshall his troops” it is sad to note that he always ends up as a terrible “tormentor” to the ears of the peasant public who make every attempt to try and get a glimpse of the game and find out what’s really going on in the middle.

It may be said that he is not one of those whose “pitch has good carry” he surely does put us common people into some very hot “pressure cooker situations” most of the time.

I guess one can say that he is a “sort of” a cool character in his own way and his lovely wife seems to think that he should spend more time in the garden where he is supposed to be one of those who can really “sweep, and sweep well” too.
Since he does wear spectacles it is not unusual for him to have misread a stunning bowled dismissal for a cracking boundary through point, no doubt. We cannot be unfair on ageing men no? After all the man must now be in his mid sixties, I believe?

So now that Ramani too has entered the fray of bashing the poor fellow lets hope that things wont get out of hand when he returns home to stay? We hope, at least, that he will not have to sleep on the couch downstairs? That would be cruel aney! Ehema kiyanna epa...paw ne?

We just want them to live happily ever after!

Anonymous said...

Ramiz Raja could be as bad as RF sometimes. As Jacques Kallis played a stunning shot through covers, Ramiz Raja rattles "Wow, What a good-looking player"..

Kautilya said...

I think the ENG vs SL match was the last straw for most of us - as far as Ranjit's antics were concerned.

This is nothing personal and as such I would urge all fellow bloggers to keep his family out of this. Bringing Ramani into this does not help the cause.

Ranjith Fernando said...

It seems like what everyone is doing here is insulting me. One might say that they are on a roll.

Anonymous said...

Any progress on the remote than can automatically shut the sound off when RF starts to speak?

Anonymous said...

This blog is a major troll.

Robert said...

RF nothing personal, please get away from criket. That's the best thing you can do for SL cricket.

Anonymous said...

Ramani has recently posed for the cover of a women's magazine. One wonders if it has anything to do with the bolgs on RFS and if they have been hurting her business and image.

Upstarts know only two things: prominence & money.

Anonymous said...

Guess all Sri Lankans have a habit of looking up & spitting

Anonymous said...

Please stop writing hateful comments about people. Ramani and Ranjit are just ordinary people like everybody else! get a life suckers