Sunday, April 29, 2007

Gilchrist & Squash Balls: Is it Cheating?

It has been revealed that Adam Gilchrist had a squash ball in his bottom hand to improve his grip. I wonder whether anyone would consider this to be cheating? Isn't it using an unauthorized object/device to aid in his grip?

Batting gloves are made to a specific standard. Bowlers, for example, are not allowed to have tape on their fingers (even if they are injured) since it would help them grip the ball. In an age where issues such as ball-tampering are big issues, I certainly think this needs some investigation. Using such aids during practice is one, but in an official match -- is another matter.

I know this topic is tangential to the purpose of this blog, and some might say I'm crazy for suggesting it's illegal. But, any thoughts?

Supporting news reports:
CNN , Yahoo

Ranjit Blunders During the WC Final

Ranjit was under the impression that the 1996 World Cup final was affected by rain, and decided based on D/L. How he fails to remember such a memorable final, until the other guy corrects him, I don't know.

Another thing pointed out by SG:
"In the Final yesterday, Australia were cruising along and it was the end of the 33rd over. Aussies were 237 at that stage and were in full flourish with 5 overs remaining. Enter Ranjit Fernando; he says Australia will look for something around 260 !?!?!? Even singles would have gotten them more than that. Does this guy really have any cricketing sense at all?"

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Tired of Ranjit Fernando?

Take some action... let the direct stakeholders of cricket know how you feel.

[PDF version of the same information as below]

Sri Lanka Cricket

Sri Lanka Cricket (Media Unit)

Dilmah Tea

ESPN-Star (HQ)

ESPN-Star Sports Corporation

Ten Sports - Sri Lanka

  • Tel : +94-(0)-11-244-6622 (Room 672)
  • Fax : +94-(0)-11-493-5499
  • Email :

Sunday, April 22, 2007

What Next?

Ok folks, pretty soon the World Cup will conclude, and along with it any ill-feelings towards the commentaries of Ranjit Fernando will also subside at least until the next series comes along. While this blog seems to have served its purpose of venting frustration quite well, the long-term goal of almost everyone who cared to share his/her thoughts was to get Ranjit Fernando off the box.

Towards that end, I believe the only way for the average cricket fan to get involved is to complain to as many stakeholders of Sri Lankan cricket as possible. This would naturally involve, Sri Lana Cricket, Dilmah, & the media production companies. While the ultimate decision of hiring a commentator would be with the production company other stakeholders (i.e. SLC, Dilmah) would no doubt have significant influence on how these things eventually pan out.

That said, I hope you would take a few minutes to write to at least one stakeholder about Ranjit Fernando. A link to a document containing telephone, fax & email addresses can be found at the end of this article.

As complaints in the absence of suggestions are simply a nuisance please don't forget to mention at least a couple of our prospective alternates;
  • Roshan Abeysinghe
  • Skandakumar
  • Premasara Apasinghe
  • Saliya Ahangama
  • Rohan Wijeratne
  • Eric Goudar
  • Shanaka Amarasinghe
Feel free email RFS if you would like to share your communications, and I'd be happy to post them here.

Link to document with contact details

Once Upon a Time (a Man Called Ranjit)

As written by a keen observer of Ranjit Fernando put it with a humorous touch...

Once upon a time there lived a man called Ranjit Fernando in sunny Sri Lanka, a land of milk and honey often referred to as Paradise, previously known to the Colonial British rulers as Ceylon.

This man was “no mug with the ball or bat”, having kept wickets and opening the batting for St. Benedict’s College in Kotahena. It was “never going to be an easy proposition” selecting him to play for the national team since ijn comparison to the rest of the contenders at that time his cricketing ability was “nothing to write home about”.

However, the man was “gathering impetus” in the local cricket scene playing and excelling in club cricket during the P Sara Trophy season every year. Finally, he came out with a surge, “Breaking the shackles”, and ended up as a commentator for World Cup and ICC Cricket matches across the globe. A great achievement for Sri Lanka, no doubt, but not a very pretty predicament to all the millions of TV listeners across the planet.

Although one could easily claim that his style of patter was a “trifle short” of what was needed to be able to deliver the state of the game across the airwaves, he still kept on “fluttering away” under the tragic assumption that he was still an “experienced campaigner” who was willing to exercise a “valiant effort” in carrying out his tasks effectively.

While we are all aware that he is trying his best to “maintain his composure” in order to be able to “marshall his troops” it is sad to note that he always ends up as a terrible “tormentor” to the ears of the peasant public who make every attempt to try and get a glimpse of the game and find out what’s really going on in the middle.

It may be said that he is not one of those whose “pitch has good carry” he surely does put us common people into some very hot “pressure cooker situations” most of the time.

I guess one can say that he is a “sort of” a cool character in his own way and his lovely wife seems to think that he should spend more time in the garden where he is supposed to be one of those who can really “sweep, and sweep well” too.Since he does wear spectacles it is not unusual for him to have misread a stunning bowled dismissal for a cracking boundary through point, no doubt. We cannot be unfair on ageing men no? After all the man must now be in his mid sixties, I believe?

So now that Ramani too has entered the fray of bashing the poor fellow lets hope that things wont get out of hand when he returns home to stay? We hope, at least, that he will not have to sleep on the couch downstairs? That would be cruel aney! Ehema kiyanna epa...paw ne?

We just want them to live happily ever after!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ramani Writes to RFS

Email sent to RFS. Of course, don't believe that this is the real Ramani. Yet, it's funny.

Ok, guys listen up. This is Ramani Fernando, Ranjith's wife. I have been using funds from my private salon to bribe Ten Sports, ESPN and Star Sports to keep the old man employed and as far away from me aspossible. If you guys ruin this by making a big deal of the obvious, I will have to put up with bigmouth at home. You know even at home he just keeps blabbering the obvious agreeing to every Tom, Dick and Sarath. And if unsupervised for a moment he manages to ruin business by suggesting to ourfriends "One might expect a haircut if one visits my wife's salon" - even scared the hell out of old Malinga who bolted to Panadura and found a new hair-dresser!

So lets keep this under wraps and not make too much noise, ok?

RFS Next Step

I started this blog soon after Ranjit Fernando's rampage during the last over of the SL v ENG match. The amount of feedback and emails I have received since then have only proven that I'm not an anomaly in the cricketing audience that the ICC, ESPN-Star, WSG Nimbus, etc etc pay millions of dollars to try and reach.

A few also raised the issue of the 'so what' factor about this blog. I have a few ideas in mind at this time and expect to publish it during early next week. Suffice to say for now that it involves a few calls, faxes and emails from the visitors to this blog. Willing to take part? Please leave a comment saying so -- it should give a good feel as to how strong a message we can get across.

So that's a preview of what's to come in the near future... stay tuned.

RFS Admin

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Arjuna Doing a Ranjit Fernando?

I've received a few emails about Arjuna doing a Ranjit Fernando on Sony (I believe) agreeing with Ian Chappel about investigating SLC for the team selections for the match against Aus.

Although this is off the topic of this blog, I'll just leave this post if anyone wishes to add any comments. My take on Arjuna is that he's lost his way mixing cricket & politics. I believe he's just bitter that he's not involved in the administration of the game in spite of "his" government being in power. Good captain who took SLC to great heights no doubt -- and I extend all my gratitude and respect for that. But time's are different now: the team is professional, equal players with even Marvan Atapattu / Vass / Murali taking turns carrying drinks to the field.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Fan Mail: An Open Letter to Ranjit Fernando

Folks, I reproduce here an email I received. Appreciate the mail, RL.

I cannot agree more with some of the comments made by so many people. I firmly believe that Ranjit Fernando has been offered Permanent Residency Status by the Aussies & the English cos his comments are so anti Sri Lankan specially when our boys are at play. he is not only the worst commentator that is in the business, he is so supportive towards the Opposition. but did you Guys notice something very Unique. he is very supportive towards the other side when they are of the so called "Master Race" ( when the opposition is White) when we play Bangladesh he is not so Bad. so it ts clear that he is either dreaming of getting the Citizenship of one these white playing nations or he's already bagged the PR status.

One might get the feeling that Ranjit is either British or Ausssie by birth. One might also think that all Sri Lankan's are of the same Mould as RF....or perhaps One could observe that Ranjit has no Cricketing Sense as he keeps repeating the words of his fellow commentator each time he is close to the Microphone......or wait....this is the best one.....



RANJIT....IF YOU EVER GET TO READ THIS....i actually hate to criticize people because at the end of the day we are all Human and i probably have more weeknesses in me than anybody else. but you are a disgrace to SL. whether you doing this on purpose ( with a Ulterior Mortive - hoping to get a PR status or some shit like that ) is anybody's guess. but if you are not and this is as good as you can get....then please be a MAN enough to step down and let someone with above average Intelligence & a Good Cricketing sense ( and obviously someone with a Love for our Country ) take over. or else ONE MIGHT GET THE FEELING that enough is enough and some shit can happen to "Manual Strangulation while on Air" . one of your fellow commentators might even do the Honors.


Ranjit Fernando Favorites (updated)

Some favorite phrases by our favorite commentator, updated to include some feedback. If you have any more, please post as a comment or email...

  • Breaking the shackles
  • Trifle short
  • No mug with the ball / bat
  • Never going to be an easy proposition
  • Sweeps, and sweeps well
  • Fluttering away
  • Experienced campaigner
  • Tormentor
  • Marshalled his troops
  • Nothing to write home about
  • Maintaining his composure
  • Valiant effort
  • Pitch has good carry
  • This is a pressure-cooker situation

Girls in the Cricket Team?

Why is it that Ranjit Fernando keeps referring to some of the guys in the female version of their names?

Dilhara pronounced as Dil-ha-raa
Tharanga pronounced as Tha-run-gaa

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Ranjit Fernando on Lasith Malinga

I got this from off from another forum... This one is a beauty though, one must agree.
Here he is... talking about Malinga

Yes one must understand that Malinga has a unique action.

Fernando(After 3 sentences):
Yes one must understand that Malinga has a unique action.

Fernando(After another 3 sentences):
Yes one must understand that Malinga has a peculiar action.

Fernando(After another 3 sentences):
Yes one must understand that Malinga has a intriguing action.


Sri Lankan "brand" of Cricket -- New Buzzword??

Is "brand" the new buzzword to hit the cricketing media? Lately, I've been reading quite a bit of the Sri Lankan "brand" of cricketing. The first I heard/read it was from Kumar Sangakkara (I think).

Getting back to topic... my question is what our friend Ranjit Fernando has to do in this branding of our cricket. Anyone want to create a brand map?

As I eagerly anticipate the SL / Aussie showdown, I wonder whether I'll be hearing a barrage of "this Sri Lankan brand of cricket" from the man in the idiot box. At any rate, I don't think the "youthful exuberance" in the Sri Lankan brand needs the mindless ramblings of an expert summarizer of obvious events.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Turning the Face of the Ball

Did anyone catch how well Chamara Silva turned the face of the bowl to score four runs?

Although young in years, one can see that Chamara Silva is no mug with the bat, and is indeed batting like an experienced campaigner much to the delight of millions of Sri Lankan supporters around the world.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Value of Decimal Digits

Doesn't Ranjit Fernando know that there is no value in the ending zero when mentioning decimal numbers?

For example, Ranjit would express a run rate of 3.20 as "three point two naught." This is not a one-off incident, he's been doing this on a consistent basis.

Ranjit Fernando Favorites

Some favorite phrases by our favorite commentator. If you have any more, please post as a comment or email...

  • Breaking the shackles
  • Trifle short
  • No mug with the ball
  • Never going to be an easy proposition
  • Sweeps, and sweeps well
  • Fluttering away
  • Experienced campaigner
  • Tormentor
  • Marshalled his troops

ENG v SL - The Famous Final Over

The previous link is no longer working. The ICC, having done such a great effort in putting a great TV crew and security in place for the WC, has nothing better to do these days than hunting down videos.

But wait -- I thought they wanted to make cricket popular.... Interesting strategy.

New link for the final over is available HERE

Listen to "Bopara Fernando" (time stamp: 7.30)

Things to ponder:

  1. In a rare instance, he is the first to start yapping when runs are scored.
  2. He only says what happenned... went for four, 2 runs, Dilhara runs in, etc
  3. Does not say anything about tactics, field changes, what should Mahela & Co do, etc
  4. Says he'll take a tie. But the other guy wants the 3 runs for an English win.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Horror Films by Ranjit Fernando

Ranjit Fernando once said on ESPN, "The captain, Sourav Ganguly, will have to keep things going, and not let his head fall down." source

I'm quite glad that Ganguly's head is still in place..., albeit with the air inside let out courtesy SLC.

A Rare Gem

Something profound Ranjit had said, way back in 1998.

As Ranjit Fernando memorably put it in th e summer of 1998:
"Murali can spin the ball on the M4," (the reference being to a highway in England).

On a Lighter Vein

Some funny cricket vidoes...

Vikram Sathaye impersonating cricketers & commentators. He looks a little awkward, but is funny.

Kumar Sangakkara takes on Shaun Pollock.

Funny moments in cricket. Includes a clip of commentators gettings dead wrong.

New Candidate: Shanaka Amarasinghe (updated)

Folks, the name of Shanaka Amarasinghe has been floated (by visitors) as a potential replacement for Ranjt Fernando. I am not aware of his skills, but apparently he's doing a good job at YES FM with the updates.

I'm told Shanaka is on air between 7pm-8pm (SL) on Friday nights.
Streamling link --

Any comments?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Ok, I know this is a little lame, and takes some imagination. It's supposed to go to the tune of "One" by U2. How appropriate, one must ask.

Is it getting closer
Or do you feel the same
Will he bowl a no-ball
Or will, Bopara win the game
You say...

One must
One should
When it's Ranjit F, who
Has the mic
One must
We get to hear it
Comes on your telly if you
Don't care for it

Did Bopara get a four now
Or maybe Dilly bowled a wide?
You bowl like a real champ now
Oh, and it’s Bopara who got out
Well it's...

Too late
Damn right
To let you go on like a joker tonight
We have won, but is it a foot that’s in my mouth?
One gets to...
Stand in the isle
Stand in the isle

Have you come here for entertainment
What the hell did you think
Have you come here to have a listen boys
To the jokers on the set

Did one ask too much
More than a lot
You’ve said really nothing
Still, you’ve screwed that up
We're one
And one has to play the game
Well we
Repeat each other
Then we do it again
You say
One is a bowler
One is a fielder
One is a keeper
Love a juicy fulltoss
You ask me to remember
But then you make me forget
And I can't be holding on
To this job I got
When all you got is crap

One must
One should
One will
When uncle Ranjit’s on your
TV set

Monday, April 9, 2007

Bopara Fernando ?

In this clip, Ranjit Feranando is referring to a Bopara Fernando...
Check it out... Forward to time stamp: 7.04

Thanks, SD.

Keeping the Ladies Entertained?

A comment on Ranjit Fernando that was around. Thanks, H, for the tip.

"I cannot for the life of me, figure out why all of you are all a twitter over poor Ranjit Fernnado's style of comentary. He is the most sought after in our hosehold which consists of my mum, my daughter and my wife, not to mention my dog. My daughter specialises in guessing the next word Fernando would utter, and usually gets about 80% right. At 7 years, she is quite bright, almost as much as Fernando himself. My mom is 65 and has a book in which Fernando's phraseology is recorded. She does this with much enthusiasm but in about 10 years of intent listening to the man she hasn't gone past the first page. My wife specialises in anticipating how Fernando would repeat or agree with everything the other man beside him would say. But what worries me is my dog, Ralph. Each time Fernando takes a bow, Ralph hares out of the house with his tail between his legs and a whine that would put the hound of the Baskervilles to shame. As for me, I couldnt care less. The man is the idiot proof version for those whose cataract ops have been long overdue. In describing what can be seen he has become quite a hit amongst the over 80's everywhere. He is like Braille to the blind! The man has his uses, he has!"

(Posted by Kewa Thalaguli on April 7, 2007 1:56 PM)

Standing in their Isles: ENG v SL - The Famous Final Over

Clip is available on YouTube
Posted by Yellowcard11

Things to ponder:
  1. In a rare instance, he is the first to start yapping when runs are scored.
  2. He only says what happenned... went for four, 2 runs, Dilhara runs in, etc
  3. Does not say anything about tactics, field changes, what should Mahela & Co do, etc
  4. Says he'll take a tie. But the other guy wants the 3 runs for an English win.

Excerpt from Telegraph: Ranjit Fernando -- Leader of the Pack

"And why not indeed? It really doesn't make any sense, which brings us on to some of the commentators. There are several excellent ones, and no one is better at conveying tactics and what might be taking place in a fielding captain's head than Nasser Hussain. On the other hand, there are some so-called expert summarisers, mostly with a delivery like the Speaking Clock, who specialise in the bleeding obvious.

In this field, leading by a short head from Ramiz Raja is Ranjit Fernando. Batsman plays and misses. "He nearly hit that ball, but he really didn't make contact." Batsman hits just short of fielder. "That ball was in the air for a while, but it didn't quite reach the fielder." Much more of this and there'll be no one watching on the TV either."

Full article available at:

Top 10 Things We Hate About Ranjit Fernando Commentaries (updated)

  1. "losinjaraya". Always speaks as if he's got something in his mouth.
  2. Feels like he has a colonial chip carried around by some Sri Lankans of his generation
  3. Only one vocal pitch, and doesn't change it when speaking.
  4. Never the first person to speak.
  5. Plagiarism. Simply say the exact same thing, use different words. More words. More adjectives.
  6. A small collection of pet-words: (one, indiscretion, juicy fulltoss, etc)
    Eg: "One has to see.... One has to consider... One has to start attacking"
  7. Always speaks in the third-person.
  8. Needs to wait for the replay to realize what happenned.
  9. Stating the obvious. "Oh look at him... Sangakkara blah blah"
    Duh! why do you think I was WATCHING the TV???
  10. Sucking up to the suddas.

Prospective Alternates

Some names that have been floated around to replace Ranjit Fernando. I remember some of them from the good old times when Rupavahini used to do their own production, with computer updated from CSC and all... and the picture-in-picture box to show the running between the wickets. Good old days, indeed!

Roshan Abeysinghe
Eric Goudar
Saliya Ahangama (thanks Aroshan)
Skandakumar (Royal College & Tamil Union)
Rohan Wijeratne
Premasiri Apasinghe

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Top 10 Things We Hate About Ranjit Fernando Commentaries

This list is being compiled... Please mail any thoughts you might have to:
ranjitfernandosucks [at]


Friday, April 6, 2007

First Things First

Welcome to RanjitFernandoSucks (RFS). This blog is an outlet to years of ear-splitting dreadful commentaries I've had to endure vis-a-vis a self-proclaimed expert -- Ranjit Fernando. For any follower of cricket, the commentaries given on television are an important part of the entertainment. Apart from making the proceedings lively, they give useful insights into the game and provide us armchair cricketers an insiders' take on the proceedings. However, the commentaries of Ranjit Fernando are quite the opposite. The disharmonious croaking of crows descending on a piece of throw-away fish, stones thrown at a tin-roof and the sound of crashing gears of a full laden lorry climbing Haputale comes to mind.

At any rate, I would like to clarify early on that this blog is in no way trying to question the command of the English language of Ranjit Fernando. English is not my first language, nor is it for most Sri Lankans. I have no issues if the command of the language is not perfect (although it begs the question -- if it's not so, why would you be on TV commentating?).

I can also look beyond the put on growling accent of Ranjit Fernando.

I can bear through the numerous adjectives coloring all of Ranjit Fernando's sentences as well. Perhaps Ranjit Fernando notices how entertaining commentators such as Premasiri Apasinghe or Tony Greig who sprinkle their lively comments with colorful adjectives. Is it a belief that, like sixes from Sanath, more is merrier when it comes to adjectives also?

Moving on... My biggest gripe with Ranjith Fernando however is that he is not always and certainly not fully behind the Sri Lankan cricket team. While being impartial is expected, you are certainly not expected belittle the efforts of the country you represent.

Second, Ranjit Fernando is unaware of some happening of the cricket team and often fails to mention history/background of an incident player. There have been numerous occasions where he had to be spoon-fed by others to get him to say the proper thing.

Third, Ranjit Fernando does not stand up for the cause and is often steamrolled by others.

Fourth, we don't need someone to repeat what the other person said.

I think that would be a good enough list to get this started. And with that, this blog is hereby declared open. Please feel free to post replies and your observations. If you have a specific incident you like to note, please email (ranjitfernandosucks[at] me and I will put up a separate post about it.

SL Cricket Kicks the Ass that Ranjit Kisses!!